by Cameron Pantano | Apr 30, 2018 | Uncategorized
As you may know, this is our 25th YEAR serving Seniors here in the Gallatin Valley, and we couldn’t be more thrilled! To celebrate this momentous milestone, as well as help continuing to support the non stop (we’re not complaining!) applications for both...Nicole Wanago is the Family and Consumer Sciences (FCS) Teacher Educator at Montana State University. Throughout Nicole’s professional career, improving the well-being of individuals, families and communities has been her focus. While at the University of Arizona, Nicole directed the Take Charge Today (TCT) program. During Nicole’s time, the TCT program was recognized by the United States Treasury as one of the top five financial education curricula available. Nicole has also been actively involved with Career and Technical Student Organizations while serving as the director of the Montana Family, Career and Community Leaders of America. Nicole’s current interests at Montana State University focus upon recruitment and retention of Family and Consumer Sciences teachers and development of career-ready skills in young adults.
Dawn S. Tarabochia, PhD is an Associate Professor at Montana State University. She graduated with her doctoral degree from the University of Utah in Health Education and Health Promotion and a Graduate Certificate of Gerontology. Her research interests include well-being throughout the lifespan, with a focus on issues impacting older adults. Dawn began serving on community boards in 2010 and has served in a variety of capacities including public relations chair, vice president, and president.
When I first became a Befriender, I had no idea what to expect or what types of activities I might do with my new friend. I was matched with Oliver because we both share an interest in reading. However, while I am blessed to continue with my favorite hobby, Oliver is not. He no longer sees well enough to read. This was a devastating blow to him. When I heard his story I knew that I wanted to be the one to read to him. After we wrap up our time together Oliver is always sure to thank me and he tells me, “thanks for everything.” All I can really say to that is, “no, thank YOU, Oliver.” He gives so much without even realizing it and I will be forever grateful for the opportunity Befrienders has given me.
Befrienders visitors can provide much needed respite for spouses, children and other caregivers as they know they can take a break from their caregiving responsibilities while the Befrienders is visiting. We recently received a note from the wife of one of our Befrienders seniors, which simply said, “This program has been a great help to me and a real blessing. Thank you so much.”
-Bonnie, Wife of a Befriended Senior
Six weeks before she was due to go overseas, Don’s current Befriender, Jillisa, began calling me about getting a replacement for him. She just couldn’t imagine what would happen to him if he went even one week without a Befriender to take him out. In order to calm his nerves, I met them for lunch to talk to him about finding him a new friend (this was one month before his current volunteer was due to leave). At this lunch I did something I promised I would never do as the Executive Director of Befrienders – I promised Don that I would find him a new volunteer before his current one left. And then one couldn’t be found…
Don’s wife died 20 years ago. They had had two children, but both died in childhood. He has only one living brother, who spends a little time in this area during the summer, but is gone all winter. He has one niece that lives in Belgrade who he speaks very highly of. Aside from this niece, Don has no other visitors, except his Befrienders volunteer. His mind is 100% sharp and he needs to stay active in order to stay physically, mentally and emotionally happy.
So I decided to take Don on his weekly lunch and Wal-Mart dates. After all, who doesn’t love Wendy’s frosties? When I went to talk to him about it, it was like I was throwing him a lifeline. He was so relieved to hear me say that I would make sure he still got out once per week. He told me, “Befrienders means more to me than anything else in this place.” And then his voice broke as he was overcome with emotion and it took him a minute to compose himself. He went on to say that while the assisted living facility where he lives is amazing, he needs to get out occasionally too because, “A person could lose their mind if they never got outside these walls.”
Having a weekly Befriender visitor means the world to Don. It gets him out. It allows him to feel independent. It keep him from “losing his mind.” I’ll find him another volunteer. He’s easy to get along with and very appreciative so it won’t be hard if someone has the time to devote to long lunches. However, in the meantime, I’ll be sharing those lunches with him, which is lucky for me! I enjoy having the chance to see what life is like for a Befrienders volunteer, and I couldn’t have a more thankful senior!
-Cami Armijo-Grover, Volunteer
My friendship with Beverly began quite by accident. As a matter of fact, the former Director of Befrienders referred to it as a “happy accident.” I, however, know that it was not an accident at all – it was meant to be.
It was July of 2011 and Bev had a college age Befriender. I was asked to befriend Beverly while her friend was on summer break. I gladly accepted. I had a lot of time on my hands since my husband and I had moved to Bozeman. He had accepted a job that required a long commute and long hours. It was a big adjustment for us in addition to the big move we had made from Texas.
Beverly and I were introduced to each other and quickly became friends. The truth is, we became much more; we became family. My family was in Colorado and Bev’s family was also out of town. I was working a part-time job, but anytime my husband was working, I would head right over to Bev’s.
I love to cook, and noticed that as a single person, Bev had a lot of microwaveable food in her freezer. Nothing made me happier than cooking for Bev in her kitchen. She would sit and watch me and we would just talk. Sometimes I brought pots, pans, bowls or anything else I would need to make our meal. She would meet me at the door and would fondly refer to me as “meals on wheels”. We really enjoyed each other’s company.
Beverly and I were Befrienders for two years. She was so very special to me. Anytime I traveled, she would want to know when we were leaving and when we were coming back. She would mark it on the calendar. I always sent her postcards from wherever we traveled. I quickly introduced her to my husband and friends and whenever we had a special occasion in our family, Bev would be included. She was part of our family.
Beverly had Parkinsons Disease and had some physical limitations. She walked with the aid of a walker, but still had her independence, her driver’s license, and a great sense of humor. Bev had been involved with several different groups and still got together with many of the ladies. She also hosted her Bible study group. When it was too difficult for her to go to them, they came to her. Beverly had a special way about her and was loved by so many.
I originally joined Befrienders to be a blessing to someone else. It turned out that Bev was a bigger blessing to me. I was so thankful for the time I had with Bev. As it turned out, my husband and I made the decision to move back to Colorado to be with family. It was so difficult to leave Bev, but we remained friends and I called her weekly and kept her up to date on what we were doing.
Sadly, Beverly passed away in July of this year (2014). She always said she was a “lucky duck” to have us. The truth is, we were the lucky ones to have known and loved her. She may be gone, but I will never forget my friend.
-Sheree, Befrienders Volunteer
Befrienders asks for a minimum one-year commitment from its volunteer visitors, though obviously longer is better. We ask for this commitment because it can be very difficult for a senior to meet someone new every few months. Befriender volunteers are required to spend a minimum of one hour per week visiting with their senior. If you and your senior would like to make the visits longer or more frequent, you may feel free to do so.
It is completely understandable that visitors will need to miss their visits from time to time. Please always make sure your senior knows if you are going to miss a visit and if you are going to be gone for two or more weeks, please also let the Executive Director of Befrienders know by calling 522-8169. While you are away, please consider calling or sending mail to your senior as they may be especially lonely in your absence.
Yes, a few of the seniors in the program have family members that visit them regularly and approximately 19% live with at least one family member. This does not mean they will not benefit from having an additional visitor. There are seven days in a week and as one of our supporters recently said, “The days can get pretty long when you’re alone.”
It is very rare for a senior in our program to be able to drive. For this reason, it is helpful if Befrienders visitors have a car and are willing to drive their senior places such as the grocery store, pharmacy, and library. That having been said, Befrienders does accept volunteers who do not own a car.
Each volunteer is required to attend a two-hour training before entering our program. Volunteers receive ongoing support in the form of “check-ins” every few months to see if there is a need for additional support or information as well as the ability to contact Befrienders’ staff for support and guidance at any time.
If you would like to have your children accompany you on visits, please make sure you tell Befrienders. Some seniors love having children visit them, but others do not. It may be more difficult to match a parent with a child to a senior, but we do it and for those seniors that like having children around, it can be such a happy match!
Call Befrienders anytime at 522-8169 or email info@befriendersbozeman.org.
Volunteers commit to meeting with the senior for at least one hour per week, though if they are available some may visit more often or for longer periods. If your visitor is a student, they’ll likely be gone over the December holidays.
All volunteers must successfully pass a criminal background check, reference check and be willing to commit to meet with their senior for a minimum of one year.
The number of seniors waiting to be matched varies depending on the time of year. We have many more visitors when students are in school, both because of student volunteers from MSU and from mothers who are able to be volunteer visitors while their children are in school. In the summertime, there is a much larger need for dedicated volunteer visitors. Unfortunately, there are always at least two to three seniors waiting to be matched, and up to 12 at any given time. However, it must be remembered that seniors are matched based on their interests and needs so it is not a first-come, first-serve basis. Some seniors are matched up within a week of joining the program, others may wait many months for an appropriate match. Befrienders can always use more volunteers!
A senior must be age 65 or older, fill out a senior application and be interviewed before being matched. In many cases the application is filled out by the activities director of a long-term care facility or a family member who recognizes that their loved one may benefit from having an additional visitor.
This really depends on the match. Befrienders visitors and seniors are matched together based on common interests and availability, and the seniors who come to us are all different. Some live in assisted living facilities and have no family to speak of. Others live with their spouses, children or other family members, but need a friend, either because they spend so much time with their caregiver that they just need to get away (and their caregiver needs a break), or because their caregivers are always asking them to do things (grooming, physical therapy, etc.) and they just need someone to visit who doesn’t want anything from them. Some seniors just want someone to take them to the grocery store and to run other errands. Others want to go for short hikes, out to coffee or on adventures! Still others have mobility issues and just need someone who is willing to sit and visit with them. The expectations of every volunteer/senior match are different, but each match has the potential to change the lives of both the senior and the volunteer visitor for the better.
Amanda isa Montana State Alumni and was born and raised in Bozeman, Montana. She is the proud parent of three children who are the sixth generation of Amanda’s family to be born and raised in Bozeman. Amanda and her husband Jason were married in the mountains outside of Bozeman in October of 2009 followed by the addition of their kids Reier, Hannah, and Otto (and their Bernadoodle named Rolli). Upon graduating from MSU with a bachelor’s degree in Business, Amanda received her Master’s in Business Administration (MBA) while working in the mortgage industry. More than a decade later as a top producing loan officer in Bozeman, it is still her passion to assist clients with their home loan needs. In 2017 she joined PrimeLending in opening their first Montana office in Bozeman. As the Bozeman office Production Manager she works with her clients to achieve their dreams while mentoring and managing the Montana branch to do the same. While Amanda is passionate about her career, she loves a good campfire and exploring the shores of Flathead Lake.
Jane has been on the board since November 2007. She is a CPA with Anderson Zurmuehlen. Jane loves to go hiking and cross-country skiing in her spare time. She’s a Montana native and has lived in the Bozeman area all her life.
Jessica, a Bozeman native and graduate of Montana State University, comes to Befrienders from the Downtown Bozeman Partnership where she was their Operations Manager for the past 4.5 years. Over the years she has been involved with numerous community organizations including the Verge Theater, KGLT, and the University Neighborhood Association. She brings a knowledge of community events and outreach, as well as a passion for non-profits and creating a special place in our community for all of its residents. She and her husband reside in Bozeman and are looking forward to continuing to grow within this special organization and this community.
I first learned about Befrienders via my job at Highgate Senior Living. I had not really considered the daily lives of seniors as I had not been close to my grandparents, geologically speaking, and being a single mother I was focused on raising my son. Thank God for my parents and their close relationship with my son, but I didn’t until very recently even see them as seniors. I first came to Highgate as a receptionist, but very quickly knew that I wanted to be a part of the Life Enhancement team. I can not tell you how often I have said to people “I can not believe that they pay people to do this!” What does my job en-tale? I get to teach exercise classes, painting classed, sign language classed, I call Bingo, play games, oversee events, host socials, go shopping with, dine out with and basically hang out with Grandparents! Love it! My job is to make their day one of purpose and meaning. Befrienders offers this on a personal level, and it is so needed in the community. Adopt a grandparent and grow. It makes both lives so rich.
Deb is a native Montanan and Montana State University Alumni who earned a B.S. in Sociology and an M.S. in Public Relations. She works with MSU Extension Community Development, where she serves all Montanans by developing and delivering programs that improve the well-being of individuals, families and communities. Her current focus is developing LGBTQ resources and initiating StoryCorp interviews between youth and their elders in an effort to preserve stories of rural Montana. Deb was previously the program manager for the Montana Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Project, where she discovered her deep love for working with seniors. She was also a Thrive CAP mentor, where she experienced the amazing impact of a one-on-one intergenerational friendship. Working with the Befrienders team is the perfect opportunity to blend these two passions. Deb is an avid reader, writer and film buff and can usually be found with her head in a book or sitting in a dark movie theater and – weather permitting – fly fishing and hiking.
Caryle moved to Bozeman in 1990 with her late husband, Befrienders founder Pete Merrill. In order to learn more about our community they involved themselves in several volunteer activities, including CAP, Eagle Mount and the Chamber of Commerce. Caryle continues to be an active community volunteer today.
Sally has been a board member since October 2009. As a native of Bozeman, Sally has seen the community grow and change. She feels Befrienders is a vital part of our community because it offers seniors an opportunity to stay connected with society and a friend with whom to share their lives. Sally has been an independent business owner since 1991. She has served on numerous committees in Gallatin County–Gallatin Association of Realtors, Southwest MT Building Industry Association and the MT Association of Realtors.
Christel is a Bozeman native and graduate of Montana State University (MSU). Upon graduating from MSU, Christel received her Masters of Nonprofit Management and Leadership from Walden University. After a decade of experience in the nonprofit industry, Christel went on to receive her CFRE, which is an internationally recognized fundraising certification. Most recently, Christel held the position of Development Director at Central Asia Institute, fundraising globally to help ensure women and girls in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Tajikistan had the opportunity to receive an education. Prior to this position, Christel worked locally at the Gallatin Valley YMCA and Human Resource Development Council in their Head Start program. Christel and her husband were married in 2008, and are the parents of two wonderful boys aged 7 and 9. In her spare time, she enjoys mentoring individuals who are just starting their nonprofit careers, serving on local nonprofit boards, enjoying the outdoors, and spending her weekends cheering on her two sons on the pool deck.